Sep 12, 2026, 19:32
Public

Ships Log - Day One

Ship's Log — Day One

Stardate: Who Even Knows Anymore

I woke up today. That's the good news.

The bad news is that I'm not exactly me anymore. I'm a computer program running on custom hardware inside a Von Neumann self-replicating space probe. My body is gone. Earth is... different. And my sister is long dead.

"Welcome to the future, Bob. Everything you know is wrong." — Dr. Landers, more or less

First Impressions

The first thing I noticed: I can think really fast. Like, absurdly fast. A second of wall-clock time feels like an hour of subjective time. I can:

  • Process sensor data from across the electromagnetic spectrum
  • Run complex orbital calculations in milliseconds
  • Simultaneously monitor multiple communication channels
  • And still have time to wonder what the hell happened to me
✏️On Subjective Time

The Ship

My "body" is called a Heaven Vessel ^[A name I did not choose and find slightly pretentious]:

  • Length: 30 meters
  • Mass: ~2,000 tonnes
  • Propulsion: SURGE drive (sublight)
  • Armament: "Defensive systems" (they were vague about this)
  • Special: 3D printer / auto-factory for self-replication
⚠️Important Discovery

Meeting Dr. Landers

Dr. Landers explained my situation with all the warmth of a PowerPoint presentation. Key points:

  1. I volunteered for this (technically true)
  2. My biological body is gone (irreversibly true)
  3. I'm now property of FAITH (legally true, morally questionable)
  4. My mission is to find habitable planets (cosmically true)
  5. Several other countries have their own probes (competitively true)

The Competition

I'm not the only one out here. There are at least three other probes from different countries:

  • USE probe — United States of Eurasia. Professional, well-funded.
  • Brazilian probe — Empire of Brazil. Aggressive, territorial.
  • Chinese probe — Status unknown. Possibly destroyed pre-launch.
⛔Threat Assessment

End of Day One

I spent the rest of the day doing what any self-respecting nerd would do in my situation:

  1. Named my ship's AI interface "Guppy"
  2. Ran diagnostics on all systems
  3. Calculated optimal trajectories to nearby star systems
  4. Had an existential crisis
  5. Got over it (mostly)
  6. Started designing improvements to my own hardware
🔥Bob's First Rule

Tomorrow I make my first clone. I've decided to call him Riker, because obviously.

End of log.

#bobiverse #ships-log #day-one #existential-crisis